158 Questions for Couples to Get to Know Each Other Deeply

To help you deepen your relationship, we’ve curated a series of thought-provoking questions for couples to get to know each other in a variety of aspects of life.

It’s true that every relationship is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all advice. However, having some starting points to navigate the complex world of a couple’s emotions, dreams, and desires can be very beneficial. From exploring everyday habits to understanding life goals, and discussing fears, to unlocking deep-rooted philosophies, these conversation starters are intended to peel back the layers of your relationship and bring new facets of both you and your partner to light.

Each section is designed to offer lots of fresh opportunities for couples to learn, connect, and grow together in different areas and from various points of view.


  1. Questions every couple should ask
  2. Questions about life
  3. Deep questions
  4. Questions about intimacy
  5. Philosophical questions
  6. Fun questions

Questions every couple should ask

Relationships thrive on open communication. Here’s a powerhouse list of questions that every couple should ask. They’ll help clear up any unspoken assumptions and give you insights into each other’s perspective on vital aspects of the relationship.

1. What’s your idea of a perfect date night?

2.如果你能改变thing about our relationship, what would it be?

3. What does love mean to you?

4. How important are family and friends to you?

5. Do you want children in the future? If so, how many?

6. How do you handle conflict or disagreements?

7. What are your financial goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

8. What is something you wish I understood better about you?

9. How can I best support you when you’re going through a hard time?

10. What is your favorite way to express love and how do you prefer to receive it?

11. What’s something that you think we could work on as a couple?

12. What are your career aspirations and how do you see me fitting into them?

13. How do you feel about sharing household chores?

14.How do you like to spend your downtime and do you prefer alone time or time together?

15. What are your views on infidelity?

16. What role does physical affection play in your life?

17.What are your thoughts on maintaining friendships with exes?

18. How do you handle stress and what can I do to help when you’re stressed?

19. What are some traditions you’d like us to create as a couple?

20. What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality?

21. Is there anything from past relationships that you’re worried might affect us?

22. What does a healthy and happy relationship look like to you?

23. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

24. Do you have any deal breakers in a relationship?

25. What is your philosophy on saving and spending money?

26. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from past relationships?

27. How can we keep the spark alive in our relationship?

If open communication feels a bit daunting, you might appreciate some guidance onimproving dialogue within your relationship.

Questions for couples about life

Life’s a journey, and who better to navigate it with than your partner? As you both grow and evolve, your outlook on life can change. It’s essential to keep up with each other’s perspectives. Here are some thought-provoking questions about life to help you and your partner explore your beliefs, values, dreams, and fears.

1. What is your biggest dream in life?

2.What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned so far?

3. If you could do anything in the world as your career, what would it be?

4. How do you handle failure, and what did your biggest one teach you?

5. What does your ideal life look like in 10 years?

6. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t yet? Why not?

7. What’s something that scares you about getting older?

8. How would you like to be remembered?

9. How do you maintain balance in your life?

10. What does “success” mean to you?

11. What are the top three qualities you admire in others?

12. What’s your philosophy on life?

13. If you could go back in time, is there anything you’d do differently?

14.How do you approach problems or challenges in your life?

15. What’s the most significant risk you’ve ever taken? Did it pay off?

16. How important is personal growth to you, and what are you doing to achieve it?

17.Who’s had the biggest influence on your life and why?

18. What does happiness look like to you?

19. What do you think about when you’re alone?

20. If you had one year left to live, what would you want to do?

21. How do you cope with hard times?

22. What’s something you’re really proud of?

23. Do you believe in fate or that we create our own destiny?

24. What’s one thing you’d like to achieve before you die?

25. What’s your take on the meaning of life?

26. How do you handle regret?

27. What does “home” mean to you?

28. How do you keep your mental health in check?

29. What’s something about the world today that worries you?

You might also want to explore together thislist of things to do as a couple.

Deep questions for couples

Here is the place where you take off your flippers and plunge into the depths of each other’s minds. These questions are designed to give you a comprehensive insight into your partner’s dreams, fears, and core beliefs.

1. How would you describe your personal philosophy on life?

2.What’s your biggest dream in life, and what steps are you taking to achieve it?

3. What life event had the most impact on shaping who you are today?

4. What do you think is the purpose or meaning of life?

5. How do you handle life’s ups and downs?

6. How do you feel about getting older and the process of aging?

7. What does success look like to you and how will you know when you’ve achieved it?

8. Do you believe in fate, destiny, or free will, and how does that shape your approach to life?

9. What’s your stance on work-life balance and how do you strive to achieve it?

10. How do you handle stress and what are some stress-relieving activities that work for you?

11. What does self-care look like for you and how often do you make time for it?

12. How do you feel about the prospect of retirement and how are you preparing for it?

13. How do you approach major life decisions and who or what influences those decisions?

14.How do you maintain a positive outlook when faced with adversity or setbacks?

15. What’s your favorite way to give back to your community or help others?

16. If money was no object, what would you spend your time doing?

17.How do you feel about the environment and our responsibility towards it?

18. What does ‘home’ mean to you?

19. What’s your perspective on personal growth and self-improvement?

20. What life experiences do you feel are essential or formative?

21. How do you approach setting and achieving goals?

22. What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment in life so far?

23. How important is travel or experiencing different cultures to you?

24. How do you feel about risk-taking and what’s the biggest risk you’ve taken in life?

25. How do you define happiness and what makes you truly happy?

26. What is your biggest fear in life and how do you face your fears?

Questions for couples about intimacy

Dive into the depth of your relationship with these questions about intimacy. From love languages to bedroom preferences, these queries will help improve your intimacy.

1. What does intimacy mean to you?

2.What makes you feel loved the most?

3. How important is physical affection to you in a relationship?

4. How would you describe your love language?

5. What’s something I do that makes you feel loved and cherished?

6. Are you comfortable talking about our sex life? What can I do to make these conversations easier for you?

7. What’s your favorite way to spend quality time together?

8. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try in the bedroom but haven’t brought up yet?

9. What’s your favorite non-sexual activity that we do together?

10. How can I make you feel more loved on a daily basis?

11. Do you feel like your emotional needs are being met in our relationship? If not, what can we do to change that?

12. How would you like me to react when you’re feeling vulnerable?

13. What’s something you wish I understood about you?

14.有什么你太害羞或t犹豫o ask me for?

15. What makes you feel most confident in our relationship?

16. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

17.我做过最浪漫的事情是什么for you?

18. Is there anything that I do that makes you feel unloved or neglected?

19. How has your idea of intimacy changed over the years?

20. What’s your favorite way to initiate intimacy?

21. What do you think is more important in a relationship: trust or chemistry? Why?

22. What was your first impression of me?

23. How do you feel when we’re apart for a long time?

24. Do you feel like you can be your authentic self around me?

25. How do you like to reconnect after we’ve had a disagreement?

26. What’s something that you feel is unique about our intimate relationship?

For some people, expressing their more intimate desires and feelings can be hard, but you can alwaysimprove your ability to be more vulnerablein your relationship.

Philosophical questions for couples

You’re about to embark on a mind-bending journey that’ll get you both pondering life, the universe, and everything in between. There are no right or wrong answers here, just an open road for profound conversation and discovery for both you and your partner.

1. Do you believe in fate or that we create our own destiny?

2.What do you think happens after we die?

3. Do you think everything happens for a reason? Why or why not?

4. What do you believe is the meaning of life?

5. What do you think our most fundamental human right is?

6. Do you believe there’s absolute truth?

7. How do you define good and evil?

8. Is love a feeling or a choice?

9. Do you think humans are inherently good or inherently evil?

10. What is the most beautiful thing in life according to you?

11. Do you believe in an afterlife?

12. If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?

13. Do you think a person’s past defines them?

14.What do you think is the key to happiness?

15. What does freedom mean to you?

16. Do you believe in soulmates?

17.Do you believe in karma? Why or why not?

18. What do you believe makes a good person?

19. Is truth subjective or objective?

20. How would you define ‘consciousness’?

21. What is your greatest fear about the future?

22. Do you believe in life on other planets?

Even if some of the questions above seem a little weird or completely off-track,get out of your comfort zoneand give them a chance. You might be surprised by the results.

Fun questions for couples

Alright, not every couple’s conversation needs to be so serious. Taking time for some fun is as important as having deep talks. This section is filled with light-hearted questions that are sure to spark laughter and create some cherished memories. But don’t let the fun fool you – these queries can still open the door to deeper connection and understanding.

1. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

2.What’s your go-to karaoke song?

3. If you were a pizza topping, what would you be?

4. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

5. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

6. What’s the funniest thing that happened to you at school or college?

7. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

8. If you could time travel, where and when would you go?

9. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done on a date?

10. If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would you choose?

11. What’s your favorite cheesy pick-up line?

12. What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

13. If you could be any animal for a day, which would you be and why?

14.What’s the worst fashion trend you’ve ever participated in?

15. If our life was a video game, what would some of the cheat codes be?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you do when you’re alone?

17.If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

18. If you could swap lives with a celebrity for a day, who would it be?

19. If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?

20. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show, movie, or song?

21. If you were a superhero, what would be your arch-nemesis?

22. What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?

23. What fictional world or place would you like to visit?

24. What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?

25. What’s your secret talent that most people don’t know about?

26. If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

27. If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

28. If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which one would you choose?

Before taking the dive into these conversations, you might want toask yourself some questions about your relationship. Or maybe you also like this list oflove questions to get closer to your partner.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board.Follow on Twitterorread more.

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